Cruising: Hedonism On The High Seas

In-line skating, rock climbing, scuba diving, parasailing, mountain biking, golfing, gambling. Not exactly the first things that come to mind when you hear the word "cruise." And yet, for the thrill-seeking traveler, a vacation at sea offers a variety of activities unmatched by a typical resort stay.

Contrary to popular opinion (at least that of non-cruisers), cruising is far from a staid, formal experience, dominated by balding retirees in black ties and blue-haired old ladies with pearls. We're talking cool activities and beautiful women. To paraphrase a famous car commercial, this is not your father's cruise.

This article focuses on Caribbean cruises aboard the mega-ships of
Carnival and Royal Caribbean; namely, Carnival's Destiny, Triumph and Victory, and Royal Caribbean's Adventure of the Seas, Explorer of the Seas and Voyager of the Seas. These ships are veritable floating cities, offering stunning architecture and a dizzying array of hedonistic diversions (think "Shipmates"). They are perfect for adventurous, fun-loving singles, couples, and groups of friends (even your drunken college buddies).

a cruise primer

Costs [Note: All prices are in USD]: For a typical seven-night Caribbean cruise, you should expect to pay between $900 and $1,200 per person, which includes airfare, accommodations, meals and snacks, most onboard activities and entertainment, tips, transfers to and from the airport, port charges, and taxes. How does this compare to a weeklong vacation at a decent resort? Well, with savings of at least $100 per day, a cruise is the best travel bargain around -- period. And don't forget: you're not stuck at the same resort for seven days; most cruises make four or five ports of call, letting you experience a bunch of Caribbean islands and all the cool things they offer. Like the locals.

Click here for a price comparison between a cruise and a resort vacation.

When To Go: High season in the Caribbean runs from mid-December through the end of August, with brief lulls in early January and late April/early May. September, October, and November are considered low-season months, and rates often drop by $300-$400.

What To Pack: Shorts, T-shirts, swimming trunks, workout gear, sandals, and sneakers are perfectly fine for daytime wear. Most ships have two nights of formal dining, so you should also bring along a sharp-looking suit, a sports jacket, and a couple of collared shirts. Hawaiian shirts are optional.

There are no limitations on the amount of luggage you can bring onboard, but closet space tends to be on the small side, so leave the kitchen sink at home.

Money & Documentation: If you have a passport, bring it. It's the most widely accepted form of identification. If you don't have one, you'll need a copy of your birth certificate and your driver's license (with picture). In any case, you'll need two forms of picture identification.

As for dough, a credit card is the way to go. Onboard transactions are cashless. That is, you run a tab throughout the duration of your cruise to pay for drinks, shore excursions, onboard purchases, and the like. On the last day of the cruise, you'll receive an itemized bill and you can authorize the charges to your credit card or pay in cash. At port, it's a good idea to carry some cold, hard cash (US dollars are gladly welcome just about everywhere), although most shops and restaurants also accept credit cards. ATMs are also onboard every ship.

the onboard experience

Cabins: There are three basic types of cabins on most cruise ships: inside (without window), outside (with window, natch), and outside with balcony. A standard inside or outside cabin on Carnival and Royal Caribbean is equipped with twin beds (which can be pushed together), private bathroom with shower, closet, TV, radio/alarm clock, mini-fridge, hair dryer, and safe. Inside cabins on Carnival are approximately 185 square feet and outsides are about 220 square feet. Royal Caribbean's cabins are around 160 square feet and 180 square feet, respectively. Outsides with balcony are slightly larger on both lines.

The main difference between inside and outside cabins is price: insides are usually $100-$200 (per person) cheaper than outsides. If you're cruising on a budget, take an inside cabin. You probably won't spend much time there anyway.

dining room
Dining: In a nutshell -- whatever you want, whenever you want it, and as much as you want. The dining options onboard a cruise ship are staggering. If you're a person with low willpower, be prepared to spend some serious time at the gym once your cruise is over. From Italian to Chinese, vegetarian to steaks, pasta and chicken, culinary temptation awaits you around every corner. And then there are the infamous midnight buffets, the ice cream stations, and the 24-hour pizzerias.

In general, dining attire is casual, but most ships designate two evenings as formal nights, when men are expected to don suits or tuxedos and women cocktail dresses or classy pantsuits. If you don't feel like getting all gussied up, you can order room service or dine in a buffet-style caf.

casino
Entertainment: If you like Las Vegas, you won't lack for entertainment on the mega-ships. They really have it all: gambling, music acts, comedy shows, karaoke, toga parties, talent shows, nightclubs, and, of course, bars, bars, and more bars. You probably won't see any super-famous entertainers on board, but the performers are all first-rate. And if you're into the club and bar scene, the hot spots are usually open late -- until at least 2am, even later if the party's really raging -- and are teeming with attractive, fun-seeking singles.

Activities: Even the most committed couch potato will be tempted by the range of activities onboard a mega-ship. Among the top options are: casinos, movie theaters, swimming pools, spas, Jacuzzis, state-of-the-art fitness centers, basketball courts, golf simulators and driving nets, and jogging tracks. And Royal Caribbean's mega-ships up the ante with their rock climbing walls, in-line skating tracks, ice skating rinks, and miniature golf courses.

Service: Overall, the onboard crew is friendly, efficient and accommodating. The ratio of passengers to crew is less than 3:1, so staffers are almost always available to cater to your needs.

shore excursions

General Info: On a typical seven-day Caribbean cruise, Carnival and Royal Caribbean's mega-ships will spend two to three days at sea and make ports of call in four or five different islands or countries (including the departure port), each with its own unique flavor. Ships usually arrive in port around 8am and depart around 5pm, so you'll have plenty of time to sleep off your hangover, sample the local culture, and engage in excursions ranging from shopping and walking tours (guided or independent) to scuba diving, mountain biking and golfing. Ship representatives are always on hand to point you in the right direction once you're off the gangway.

It's a good idea to book your shore excursions either before your cruise or shortly after you board the ship -- the most popular ones tend to sell out quickly. Prices are entirely dependent on the type of activity. For example, a three-hour snorkeling tour might cost $25, while an 18-hole golf outing at a top course could set you back $150.

Active Pursuits: Most people think of the Caribbean as first and foremost a beach-lover's paradise. While this is certainly true, it's also a golfer's paradise, a diver's paradise, a kayaker's paradise, and a horseback rider's paradise, to name but a few. One of the unique aspects of a cruise -- and to many people, the most appealing -- is that you have the opportunity to sample a different take on paradise at every port.

Check out this brief list of excursions available to the sports-and-adventure-loving cruiser, along with top ports and sample prices for each activity:

  • Golfing: Aruba, Bahamas, Jamaica, San Juan, St. Lucia, St. Thomas; $100-$150, including greens fees, shared cart, and round-trip transportation
  • Hiking: Antigua, San Juan, St. Lucia, St. Thomas; $55-$65
  • Horseback Riding: Barbados, Cozumel, Jamaica, San Juan, St. Lucia; $60-$85
  • Kayaking: Antigua, Grand Cayman, Key West, Labadee, St. Thomas; $35-$70
  • Mountain Biking: Barbados, Jamaica, St. Lucia, St. Maarten; $55-$70
  • Parasailing: Labadee; $80
  • Scuba Diving: Bahamas, Curacao, Cozumel, Grand Cayman; $60-$100, certification required
  • Snorkeling: Everywhere; $25-$40
  • scuba diving

    the top 5 itineraries

    Eastern Caribbean ( Carnival Victory and Triumph ):
    Miami, Day at Sea, San Juan, St. Maarten, St. Thomas, Day at Sea, Day at Sea, Miami

    Eastern Caribbean ( Royal Caribbean Explorer of the Seas ):
    Miami, Day at Sea, San Juan, St. Maarten, St. Thomas, Day at Sea, Bahamas, Miami

    Southern Caribbean ( Carnival Destiny ):
    San Juan, St. Thomas, Martinique, Barbados, Day at Sea, Aruba, Day at Sea, San Juan

    Southern Caribbean ( Royal Caribbean Adventure of the Seas ):
    San Juan, Day at Sea, Aruba, Curacao, Day at Sea, St. Maarten, St. Thomas, San Juan

    Western Caribbean ( Carnival Victory and Triumph ):
    Miami, Day at Sea, Cozumel, Day at Sea, Grand Cayman, Ocho Rios, Day at Sea, Miami

    Now that's a vacation!

    summing up

    For the active, adventurous traveler, Caribbean cruising is an experience unlike any other. In essence, each day is a mini resort vacation. But instead of staying in one place for seven days, you get to golf, kayak, scuba dive, horseback ride, and parasail (among dozens of other activities) in a variety of tropical paradises, each with their own unique culture and flair, and then return to your personal floating city, where you're served fine cuisine, presented with an astonishing selection of entertainment options, and pampered at every step. What are you doing for your next vacation?

    price comparison

    Cruise vs. Resort Vacation

    7-Night Cruise7-Night Resort Vacation
    Base Fare/
    Lodgings
    $500$700
    ($100/day)
    Airfare$300$300
    Meals & Snacksincluded$420
    ($60/day)
    Activities &
    Entertainment
    included$280
    ($40/day)
    Transfersincluded$20
    Tips$70$20
    Port Charges/
    Taxes
    $200$70
    Total Cost$1,070$1,810

    sample itinerary

    This is what an actual seven-day Caribbean cruise has to offer; in this case, a Western Caribbean sailing on Royal Caribbean's Voyager of the Seas, the largest cruise ship in the world.

    Sunday: embarkation in Miami in mid-afternoon; drinks at the Pool Bar; dinner at the Magic Flute, the third level of the soaring, multi-tier main dining room (Carmen and La Bohème are the other levels); gambling at Casino Royale; Vegas-style show at La Scala Theater; clubbing in the Vault, Voyager's enormous nightclub.

    Monday: breakfast; rock climbing; recuperation in a Jacuzzi; lunch; a little sun at the pool; basketball, a game of mini-golf, and drinks at the 19th Hole; formal dinner at the Captain's Cocktail Party; drinks on the Observation Deck; dancing in the Sky Bar.

    Tuesday: early morning arrival in Labadee, Royal Caribbean's private resort on the coast of Haiti; parasailing and kayaking; ship reboarding; dinner at Johnny Rockets; first-run movie in the Screening Room; gambling at Casino Royale; drinks at the Schooner Bar.

    Wednesday: early morning arrival in Ocho Rios, Jamaica; 18 holes of golf at Sandals Golf and Beach Club; ship reboarding; dinner at reservations-only Portofino Restaurant; shopping on the Royal Promenade; clubbing in the Vault.

    Thursday: early morning arrival in Grand Cayman; scuba diving and a trip to the world-famous Turtle Farm; ship reboarding; dinner at La Bohème; ice skating; talent show in Cleopatra's Needle; midnight buffet at the Island Grille.

    Friday: early morning arrival in Cozumel; scuba diving and horseback riding; ship reboarding; formal dinner at Carmen; drinks at the Champagne Bar; karaoke in the Viking Crown Lounge.

    Saturday: heavy workout at the Shipshape Fitness Center; lunch at the Windjammer Café; in-line skating; lounging at the pool; dinner at the Magic Flute; drinks at Cloud Nine; clubbing in the Vault.

    Sunday: disembarkation in Miami (around 9am).

    now that's a vacation

    For more information, check out CruiseDirect.com. They're the number one online booking service and the ones to go with if you're gonna go.

    Resources:
    Discount Cruises
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