Tips And Works: Mellow Out In Melbourne

Melbourne skyline - Credit: iStockPhoto.com

VITAL INFORMATION
Population	3,800,000
Languages spoken	English
Currency	Australian dollar (AUD); 1 AUD = (appr.) 0.74 USD
Average temperature	Summer: 57F-77F; Winter: 45F-57F
High season	October through April

On a continent that seems half the world from everywhere -- except maybe New Zealand -- Melbourne, Victoria, is a diverse city with reminders of every corner of the globe. As you wander the city on foot or by the free tram, you'll experience unique inner-city suburbs maintaining distinct personalities, moods and vibes. You could spend a month here and still find it a challenge to see and do everything worthwhile.

All prices are listed in U.S. funds.

Day 1: Amble, gawk and gamble

Not exactly a tourist trap, the shops and attractions of City Centre are enjoyed by residents and visitors alike. This is also where you'll check into the Grand Hyatt Melbourne. Room rates are $120 per night and up, and you'll find it a great value combined with a great location.

Now that we've shed our bags, it's time to taste some vegemite and see what all the fuss is about. Even if your palate isn't brave enough, you'll find something agreeable. The city boasts over 3,000 eateries and bars. Melbournians like to lunch from around noon to 2:30 or so, and many restaurants have outdoor seating along the footpath (sidewalk).

For a java and tapas fix, you can slip into a coffeehouse, or you can skip all that and go straight to hell. Hell's Kitchen on Centre Place, that is. While the name may conjure images of a greasy spoon, the atmosphere is hip but relaxed. Try the green curry chicken for a delicious mid-day refueling.

The City Centre atmosphere will do nicely to walk off lunch and view the heart of Melbourne. Still, the best view in the city is over 800 feet high, courtesy of the Melbourne Observation Deck atop the Rialto Towers' 55-story South Tower. Admission is around $10. Opinions vary on whether the view is best on a clear day or during the evening (their hours are 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily). Regardless, there's hardly a better sky-high view Down Under.

After you're back on ground level, travel a short distance to the Yarra Riverfront's Crown Entertainment Complex. The highlight may be the casino, but even non-gamblers will find enough to do to stay occupied for a while -- this includes some great dining. Tonight, we'll drop into Koko for some of Melbourne's best Japanese. Main courses here are $22 to $26, but tonight we'll splurge and pick from one of the complete Teppanyaki set menus, ranging from $47 to $85. Menu "B" runs about $74 and features a variety of seafood, miso soup, salad, side items, fillet of beef, and rice ice cream.

Cap off the evening with a walk over to the casino area. It will be hard to miss -- it's over 500 yards long and includes several themed gaming rooms off the main floor area. In all, there'll be a lot of your favorite casino games, plus a few that may not be entirely familiar.

When you've cashed your chips, the complex has over a dozen bars and clubs to further try your luck. Don't miss Mercury Lounge. It features great contemporary bands from around the corner to around the world. Just be sure you're dressed beyond casual, or you won't get in.

Day 2: No rules, just fight

For brekkie, as locals refer to the day's first meal, look no further than the Plane Tree Caf at the Hyatt. Their full breakfast buffet is around $25, but it's well worth the quality and selection.

Next, it's time to take a short walk to see organized fighting, otherwise known as Australian Rules Football. As a visitor at a Melbourne Demons rugby match at The "G" (Melbourne Cricket Ground or MCG), you'll realize "Aussie Rules" apparently means a lack of them. Still, you can't deny it's a crowd pleaser. Melbournians, often well-behaved and proper otherwise, get downright rabid over rugby. It's better to go along with it than question their behavior.

If the Demons aren't in action while you're there, there's no excuse not to find another sport in season to watch or play. Melbourne is proud of its multi-sport offerings; including auto races, boating, cricket, cycling, golf, horse racing, and tennis.

Since sport will take up a good chunk of the day, you should grab a bite while you're at The "G." Then, after what will likely be a Demons victory, wander over to Young & Jackson Hotel. Generations of thirsty folks have come to this pub since the mid-1800s, and we see no reason to break tradition by skipping the chance to enjoy a pint or two. While you're there, pay your respects to "Chloe," the nude painting shown at Melbourne's 1880 Great Exhibition.

Tonight's dinner will be more casual. Caf Segovia in City Centre has an attractive atmosphere and solid bigs (main courses) priced between $6.40 to $10. You'll thank us later for suggesting the lamb. Pair it with an Australian glass of grape. The caf's wine list changes, but staff will be happy to suggest one based on your meal and taste preferences.

Flinders Street Railway Station - Credit: iStockPhoto.com

Flinders Street Railway Station - Credit: iStockPhoto.com

After dinner, walk back to the Hyatt, clean up, and get down. If you didn't notice, you have a couple nice drinkeries right in your own hotel. For an exhaustive drink selection and stylish atmosphere, you'll be at home in Bar Deco. There's no cover, and they go strong until 1 a.m. most nights, or 2 a.m. Friday and Saturday.

On Friday and Saturday nights, you'll also get the chance to groove at Monsoon's Nightclub. Friday night's cover is about $7.50, Saturday's is $11-ish, and you can party "till late," according to the hotel.

Day 3: Dive, he said

If you're up for brekkie at all today, keep it light. An activity synonymous with Australia is diving, especially on the Great Barrier Reef. Well, that's off the northeastern coast of Australia, and you're on the southeastern coast -- not exactly a day trip. And while it's not as awe-inspiring as the Great Barrier Reef, the Melbourne area has adequate diving that's certainly worth a look. Melbourne Diving Services will take you to reefs and wrecks that match your interests and abilities.

Once you've returned to the hotel and changed, look for lunch. It won't jump out at you, but it's worth finding the local favorite Becco, discreetly located in a lane around City Centre. Modern Italian meets Australian is the cuisine and prices range from $18 to $25 for the bigs. A standout is the crumbed prawns.

You didn't really think we'd go on holiday and never golf, did you? Just a couple miles from City Centre lies Yarra Bend Public Golf Course. This 18-hole, par-70 course rates pretty well for a munie, and you'll get through for less than $40, including club rental.

A few miles further from City Centre, the par-72 Royal Melbourne Golf Club is at least worth a shot. We say that because it's a private club. Still, it's not impossible to weasel your way in, provided you belong to a club of adequate prestige back home. If you have to ask about fees, stick with Yarra Bend.

Your final night in Melbourne should not be taken lightly. Nightclubs to hit include the eclectic Tony Starr's Kitten Club with a most reasonable $4 cover (despite the name, it's not a strip joint). Then go mingle with the hipsters at Double Happiness and take in jazz at Bennetts Lane Jazz Club ($8 cover). Finish the night with drinks, dancing and even bowling at the 24-hour Kingpin. Dude, Lebowski would be in heaven here. The cover varies, and bowling is an additional $16.

tips for the trip

Local time is GMT+10, so from the United States you'll effectively lose a day getting there, and you'll spend over half a day in the air.
If you want to try other pubs and clubs, pick up Bar Secrets Melbourne from most bookstores or newsstands for $8. Arranged as a deck of 52 playing cards, it also includes the vitals of some must-party hotspots. Most places are open until at least midnight, some go until 2 or 3, and a few stay open all night.
Tipping is not as socially mandatory in Australia as it is in the States. And it's said Australians are actually thankful for gratuities -- a long-lost concept to some American servers. Hard to believe, but Down Under they're happy to receive just 5% to 15%.
Much of the slang you'll hear is similar to that of the North Americans and British. A few unique ones include ace (excellent), ariel pingpong (Aussie rules football), bog in (to eat), clickdurry (cigarette), franger (condom), good on ya (good for you), hooroono worries (it's okay, not a problem), root (nicer version of f*ck, and just as versatile), stonkered (drunk), tucker (food), yobbo (slob or obnoxious person). (kilometer), (goodbye),
Australians love their amber fluid (beer), with Victoria Bitter and XXXX (pronounced "four-x") among popular lower-priced choices. Premium beers to try include Hahn, James Squire and Stockade. Skip the Foster's unless you want to look like a tourist (despite the marketing we see in North America, Foster's is not nearly as dominant as they'd like us to believe). Wine lovers should try offerings from Coldstream Hills, Edwards & Chaffey, Penfolds and Wynns Coonawarra Estate.