Airline Etiquette And Travel Tips

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When I was a senior in high school, my history teacher, Mr. Katzman, said on the first day of our American History class, “Gentlemen, chivalry is dying. It is up to you to keep it alive. If your generation gets caught up in the cancer of casual living, all is lost.”

I have done my best to establish a beachhead of good manners, but there is only so much one man can do. And, besides, the assault on chivalry has now expanded to other fronts.

It is with this in mind that I come to you and, inspired by Mr. Katzman, I say: The cancer of the casual lifestyle is destroying air travel, and it is up to our generation to preserve its integrity or it will be lost. So, here are some general tips and etiquette guidelines to follow while traveling.

bare minimum

Below are a few strict rules that must be observed while on a plane. There is no grey area, no wiggle room. If I had my way, any infraction to the following guidelines would result in immediate expulsion from the plane, airport and possibly, the country.

No sleeves, no shoes, no boarding pass

Appropriate travel attire is key. I don’t care if you’re on your way to a tropical destination, you aren’t there yet. Dress like a beach bum when you get there. And, on principle, I don’t trust any man who naturally gravitates toward sleeveless attire.

You have armrests -- use them

When getting up from your chair, the seat in front of you is never to be used as leverage. I’m sure it’s easier to pull yourself up rather than push off your armrests, but the fact is, the chair in front of you does not belong to you. If the simple act of raising yourself out of a seated position causes you undue stress and requires you to fashion a rudimentary pulley system to achieve what every able-bodied person should be able to do under their own steam, may I suggest you hit the gym and develop a little more upper body strength?

You own the window seat, not the window

Be courteous and lower the blind when your seatmates are trying to sleep, work or watch TV. As far as taking in the view goes, it’s the sky. Get over it.

I don’t see a bar, do you?

Get up and stretch your legs now and then -- it’s good for your circulation. But if you didn’t have the foresight to get a seat next to your friend, either ask to move seats or sit down and play some Su Doku. The aisle is not some communal hang-out section.

travel tips

Now that you have your airplane etiquette down, here are a few tips that can help reduce the overall stress of air travel. They are by no means set in stone, but on the whole, they seem to work well.

The first tip is predicated on the belief that the most disruptive thing to a traveler is to have to make way for someone who needs to use the washroom. Knowing this, here’s my rule:
  • Short-haul trips: Get an aisle seat
  • Long-haul trips: Get a window seat
To keep yourself busy on the plane, travel with a pen. Surely, you must already own a few you can throw into your carry on.

Finally, as a time-saving tip, next time you’re at the airport, take a stack of customs forms home with you. They’re free and you can fill them out well in advance.

appearance

A man shouldn’t always have to look like he’s pulled straight out of the pages of Esquire, so what follows are some loose travel wardrobe and hygiene guidelines to live by.

Flights before 9 a.m.

It is possible to shower the night before, roll out of bed, wash your face, put on some deodorant, put on a baseball cap and go. I prefer to throw on a blazer and make up for the hair. The fact is, a 7:30 a.m. flight requires a 5:30 a.m. wake up -- at best.

As soon as I get on that plane, I am asleep. When I sleep, I get bedhead and all that hard work grooming goes out the window. But here’s the catch: If you have a meeting as soon as you land, suck it up big boy -- a shower and shave are mandatory.

When possible, travel with clean sneakers or loafers. They are easy to slip on and off and they look good.

Hotels

Early check-ins can rarely be guaranteed, so do your research. If you are coming off a red eye and absolutely need a room as soon as you land, you might have to eat the cost and reserve a room for the night before.

Sometimes, the only thing that can keep a man sane on the road is a good workout. But nothing can drive a man more insane than getting to a hotel gym and realizing that it is comprised of a medicine ball, two mismatched dumbbells and a single Stairmaster from 1982.

Ask very specific questions about your hotel’s
gym facilities. Almost every hotel has a gym, but very few of them have good gyms. Ask if there are any TVs in the gym, how many and if the machines are in working order. If they don’t know, then tell them to find out and call you back -- it’s part of their job.

Packing

Backpacks are for little boys. For a trip that is three days or less, use a carry on bag.
Take a few minutes while you pack to carefully plan your wardrobe so that it fits into your carry on and you can, thus,
avoid waiting for your luggage.

If you do check your bags, carry your toiletries in your carry on. I don’t care how small the chance is that your luggage will be lost -- you never want to replace your personal products.

Give yourself some breathing room

If you’re like me, you will buy something on your trip. So, if you over pack, you’ll be out of luck on the return. An important space-saving tip: Don’t pack with a computer unless you have to.

other tips

In your attempt to make this trip as pleasant as possible, there are a few other miscellaneous travel guidelines to keep in mind.

Get your act together

You’ve traveled before. You know how security works: Get your computer out of its case before security asks you to do so. Got change and keys in your pocket? Take them out. If you don’t, everyone waiting behind you is going to hate you for holding up the line.

It’s your flight, not your fight

We all know that flight attendants have no problem putting the bad guy in his place -- you might as well take advantage of that and use it.

If there’s a loud group behind you, or someone’s window shade is open and ruining your flight, ring your call button, and calmly explain the situation to the flight attendant. It is their job to take care of it gracefully.

preparing for take off

When people travel, they leave society behind and they create a whole new temporary and transitory community. Time and space are reduced, nerves are shortened and tempers tend to flare up faster than they do on the ground.

The most important keys to building a well-mannered flying society are organization, consideration of others and class. Interpret those things wisely and generously, and we might be able to beat back the barbaric, sleeveless hordes and take back the skies.

Resources:
Airline Tickets
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