Risk-takers are usually either spot-on or dead-wrong; seldom does a gray area exist. And nowhere is this rule of absolution more applicable than when it comes to men’s facial hair. You get it just right or all wrong; there’s no in between. Facial hair, when executed properly, gives you a suave, debonair look, but if it’s unkempt or ridiculously styled, it makes a total mockery out of you. That’s why to uphold our end of the bargain, we’re crying foul on the free-wheeling facial hair styles that some guys are attempting in the name of fashion-forwardness. Here then, for your amusement or embarrassment, but definitely for your education, are six facial hair style don’ts.
Chinstrap
Gentlemen beware: The chinstrap worked for Honest Abe, but it really hasn’t worked for anyone notable since, which is why it’s a definite facial hair style don’t. These days, this facial hair style, a beard grown along the jaw line and around the chin, speaks of ineptitude and immaturity. It is not the collegiate, sophisticatedly disheveled look some are making it out to be. Given its unusual styling and antiquated appeal, the chinstrap only harkens back to the days when men’s grooming didn’t enjoy the modern convenience of, oh say, running water. All in all, this look should be left in history books, lest you want your style to be remembered as passe and out-of-touch.Don’t confuse this facial hair style don’t with: Heavy stubble, which can be a dapper, slightly less polished look, perfect for creating an unassuming style.
Fu Manchu
The Fu Manchu takes its name from a fictional character, and appropriately so; the fictional world is where it should remain with the rest of these facial hair style don’ts. This whimsical look evokes a sense of B-movie nostalgia with its often-below-the-jaw mustache length and sensei-like appeal, and it’s this latter characteristic that draws some to try the Fu Manchu in an attempt to be clever. Any endeavor to wear this cartoon-ish beard is misguided; the Fu Manchu looks comedic, but in a preposterously absurd way. Despite anyone’s better judgment, this outlandish facial hair style should always and only appear in the realm of fantasy.Don’t confuse this facial hair style don’t with: The slick, intellectual facial hair styling of a trimmed goatee.
Horseshoe
According to superstition, an upside-down horseshoe is good luck. Unfortunately, the luck runs dry if the upturned horseshoe hangs above your lip. In recent years, this look has been popularized by the “modern cowboy” and the legendary Hulk Hogan. Yes, these two mythological entities can pull this look off, but the average Joe should consider the horseshoe to be one of the most catastrophic facial hair style don’ts. Thanks to its full-growth mustache, which extends past the lips and down to the jaw line, it appears outmoded and out of style. Some guys think the horseshoe is a tough, ruggedly stylish way to wear their facial hair, but that’s only wishful thinking.Don’t confuse this facial hair style don’t with: A mature, handsome style provided by a full beard that draws accurate inspiration from the more rugged, masculine traditions of men’s fashion.
Muttonchops
If you must use butcher-shop terminology to describe your appearance, you should already know something is off. Muttonchops, so called for being large, overgrown sideburns that extend down to your chin, could be the most horrendous, most frequent facial hair don't of our time. This facial hair style don’t falls somewhere between alternative-rock lifestyle and antiestablishment thinking; guys have been led to believe that this ill-advised look brings a hardcore, take-no-prisoners edge to their style -- but it doesn’t do that. It only looks awkward and tousled. That’s why when it comes to the muttonchops, do yourself a favor and leave them on the table.Don’t confuse this facial hair style don’t with: The unassumingly chic appeal of a well-executed scruffy beard.
Pornstache
Despite popular opinion, the pornstache isn’t a kitschy, zany facial hair style that’s acceptable for guys to wear in the name of fun. The name reference alone connects it with a juvenile mentality, and men with any sense of sophistication and erudition should place it in their “facial hair style don’ts” pile. Just as they are designed to be, pornstaches are distracting and crude; they allude to a crass sense of humor that other guys might find humorous, but one that ladies will undoubtedly find obnoxious. It’s a look that reeks of immaturity and classlessness. Unless it’s Halloween or you’re wearing a costume, please exhibit some decorum and resist the urge to rock a pornstache.Don’t confuse this facial hair style don’t with: A sleek, mature sense of sophistication that goes along with a clean-shaven face.
Soul patch
Music has long supplied inspiration for fashion, especially on the guy side of things. As a muse, though, music sometimes goes out of tune with contemporary fashion. Case in point: the soul patch. When it first became popular with the beat generation of the ‘50s and ‘60s, it had a definitive place in fashion, but those days are gone. The soul patch, revived by today’s rockers and wannabes, alludes to a cliched, roll-your-eyes persona that most men want to steer clear of. Leaving a small patch of hair under the lip and above the chin, the soul patch is amazingly defunct and washed up. All things considered, this facial hair style is out of sync with truly modern, urbane style.Don’t confuse this facial hair style don’t with: The Balbo, which is part soul patch, but much more erudite, sophisticated and modish.
take one on the chin
It’s great to see guys feeling more adventurous to experiment with different facial hair styles. It’s not, however, great to see them miss the boat completely with old-school options that are madcap, immature and simply off base. That’s why we’re stepping in to help you get it right by avoiding these facial hair style don’ts. Doing so will ensure that the style you do end up choosing will be closer, if not spot-on, in bringing added complexity and charm to your overall wardrobe and general appeal.Resources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
www.beards.org
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